Woolworths is Australia's leading fresh food retailer. Features information on the Woolworths supermarket in Mittagong.
- Relax, Folk - I'm On The Job & It's OK (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- It's Ian here again. I was backing up the guy who was appalled, APPALLED at..and I have to take a deep breath to get this out.. SEX FRUIT!! Well, while the rest of Mittagong & the Sth Highlands have been going about their daily lives (watching endless 'sport' ie thugs, hoons and perverts who can kick a ball; gossiping & mild slander; heavy drinking & adultery -often but not necessarily together; watching pornography & mind numbing Tee Vee programmes like Biggest Loser and The Price Is Right .... I have been ON THE JOB! Yes, as the self-appointed SEX FRUIT POLICE I've been looking after, without any thought of financial reward or even an OBE or invite to The Wedding, the welfare of the common, mostly decent people of the Sth Highlands. The climax of my work is that I can report that sex fruit, which was thrusting its way forward is now having a hard time of it, shrinking & withdrawing with hardly a shot fired. NO LONGER will sex fruit be thrust into the innocent faces of local peasants in supermarket isles! We can do it YES WE CAN! I've been active in Woollies for some time now, disguised as the average Sth Highlander, that is: poorly attired, often unwashed, loud & uncouth speaking in mono-syllables or grunts - in other words, just fitting in with the local scene. But whilst I may have looked like the average yokel, my sharp eyes were constantly scanning for any trace of ...SEX FRUIT! And if I saw a banana that wasn't properly bent, as a banana should be - if it looked IN THE SLIGHTEST bit straight, like a Penis, then I would deftly slip it onto the ground and grind it under my heel..ouch! Plenty of those, let me tell you and at $14.99 a kilo Woollies profits will be taking a big hit..too bad, I say! Morality before profits! YES WE CAN! I also saw some large navel oranges that had 2 little bumps. Navels they were not, they were NIPPLES! Same with the apples masquerading as virginas (or is that the other way around?) What-ever, they all met the same fate, I showed no mercy, none. Often the fruit area looked like Cyclone Tracy had been through and Woollies could have showed some bottom line initiative and sold/rented gum boots to wade through the sludge I created. But the battle has been fought and won. Like other heroes - Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Charlie Sheen - I seek not your adulation, nor fame or fortune. No, my reward is simply ridding the shelves of SEX FRUIT, once and for all! WE CAN DO IT, YES WE CAN!!!
- Posted by Ian at Thursday 21st April, 2011
- Oh for goodness sake... (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- Bill... take the offending piece from the child look at it and say 'don't be silly' and give him another for the lunch. Its only as offending as you make it. Ian... we have a 'Fruit Police' ... falls of the chair laughing, oh do something constructive with your life! Bahaha..... agree this has got to be the funniest string of comments ever left for a grocery store. Hey Woolies... open some more checkouts please. Well done to that helpful very young lass in bakery last week. Woolies you should have a staff award for best customer service.
- Posted by Gwen at Tuesday 16th February, 2010
- i agree (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- yea i agree with all you people that think get over it its just bloody fruit and veg you all just sound like kids and most people probably dont look at a piece of fruit and think of a genital part its just you people with sick dirty minds so get over it and let your kids eat the healthy fruit and veg they like and i think mittagong woolworths is the best they have had yea the workers r sometimes rude but only when your rude at them they work like all day and all night so guys of the suthern highlands cut em a break i know a lady named kylie there and she does night shift ok she works hard as and is always at work working her but off to make sure that we all have a great woolworths so cut em some slack guys come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
- Posted by Unknown User at Sunday 31st May, 2009
- Oh give us a break... (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- I agree Alex of Hilltop.... you have got to be kidding right, we have a Fruit Police (Sth Highland Branch)... *laughs* Do give us a break here with this lunacy, fruit is fruit, get your minds out of the gutter and get real. Do you guys above talking about this have any idea how idiotic you sound! Just open more checkouts Woolies and make most of us happy here lol *shakes my head at the rest*
- Posted by Rebecca Hill at Wednesday 20th May, 2009
- Mittagong Woolworths (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- I sympathise especially with Wal above. You need a car for this venue and Anomynous above, lines to checkouts way too long. Open more! On the plus side: One day in particular I was there around christmas/new year holidays and some very 'demanding and rude' customers were dealt with at a very busy time around the deli department. I found the young Deli assistants especially to be the top in the highlands, courteous and efficient. Come on highlanders, where are some of your manners!
- Posted by Sharon at Tuesday 28th April, 2009
- woolworths mittagong (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- When Woolworths first opened in mittagong across from Home hardware I thought it was terrible! The parking was unbelieveably limited and the store itself was old... However I very much enjoy shopping at the new location and find a parking spot without any fuss, everytime. Woolworths has always been my prefered choice of shopping centre, i find it has much better isle arrangement and more variety of products. I can tell you all now the new woolies is a five star compared to what we had before in mittagong. So be thankfull we can all shop freely in a lovely new woolies!!!
- Posted by Moira Crawford at Wednesday 11th March, 2009
- A nice big Kucumber (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- I can understand both your concern about fruit with a resembalance to sexual organs. But at times theres nothing better than buying a great big kucumber, and letting the good times roll. Let mother nature do its duty.
- Posted by Dianne Briggs at Monday 9th March, 2009
- Obscene Fruit In Woolies (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- I am totally sympathetic to Bill McKay who complained about his apples from Woollies being disctinctly like a vagina. This is a disgrace! I recently bought some bananas and instead of being curved and fruit-like some were almost straight and penis-like. Awful. My wife would not eat them, saying, "No way my ruby reds get anywhere near that thing". I think we need immediate government intervention & protection followed by strict legislation to prevent sex organ like fruit being thrust down the throats of an unsuspecting public. Heavy fines, even imprisonment, should be imposed on purveyors of this filth - we want action now! Members of the public could act as watch dogs, patrolling the isles in search of sex items masquerading as regular fruit. Bill can concentrate on apple virginas and I'll focus on banana penisi (is that the correct plural for a bunch of penis bananas?) I'll be right you Bill with a natural curved banana for comparison - just don't stop suddenly, OK? WE MUST PROTECT OUR CHILDREN AND STOP THIS NOW!!!
- Posted by Ian - Of The Fruit Police (Sth Highland Branch) at Saturday 22nd November, 2008
- Bad fruit. (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- Recently I purchased groceries from the Mittagong store. I should mention that I am a father of three. Amongst the other items was a bag of red apples which I often buy and have an abundance of in the house. My son, on choosing an apple for part of his lunch at school, began to laugh. Puzzled at first, I quickly saw what he found so amusing. The apple could only be said to resemble, in great detail, a vagina. Needless to say the fruit was incinerated along with the entire bag. Please take care to select decent shaped fruit in your value bags.
- Posted by Bill McKay at Sunday 7th September, 2008
- Woolworths (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- Just like woolies in Bowral, they have like 18 registers and only ever have 5 open - this includes peak hour shopping time! The staff there are rude and ignore u, the shop is back to front having the refridgerated dept in the first two aisles and the frozen goods on the back wall furtherest away from entry??? Shame old woolies closed down.
- Posted by Unknown User at Monday 7th July, 2008
- helllooo (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- woolworths Mittagong have moved out of the location you show on the map,some time ago leaving the town without any place, for those without transport, to walk to buy their staples. there is not even a continuous footpath or pedestrian crossings to the new location ,so that even those fit enough, to walk the extra 1km round trip, for a loaf of bread, can not do so safely. There is no Woolworths in the town of Mittagong so please delete the reference
- Posted by Wal at Tuesday 4th March, 2008
- Wollworths (review: Woolworths Mittagong)
- This has to be the most expensive store in the Highlands. Totally overpriced for just about everything especially this week with Coles being closed. Never enough staff and always a huge queque at the checkouts. Avoid if you can
- Posted by Joanna White at Friday 23rd February, 2007
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